Chapter 1 — Three Months In My Freezer
EmilyDiane. DIANE! What are you doing?!
DianeThree months of this. In my freezer.
Diane tipped the freezer tray forward and ninety-one flat frozen bags of breast milk slid into the stainless steel sink.
EmilySTOP! Those are labelled! Every single one of those is dated!
Diane reached across the tray and twisted the hot tap all the way open.
EmilyNO — no no no —
Emily plunged both hands into the scalding water and started scooping the bags out against her chest.
EmilyStop it — please — that's everything I have!
DianeYou've been walking around this house like a martyr since June.
EmilyI pump at four in the morning! Every morning! Do you understand what that is?
DianeI understand you've turned my son's kitchen into a dairy.
Noah started screaming from the bouncer on the floor behind them.
EmilyHe's hungry, Diane! That was his food! That was two weeks of his food!
DianeThere's formula in the pantry. I bought it myself.
EmilyI didn't ask you to buy anything!
DianeNo. You never ask me for anything. That's rather the problem.
Diane turned off the tap with two fingers and took the dish towel off the oven handle.
EmilyLook at me. Look at what you just did.
Diane dried her hands finger by finger, folded the towel in half, and hung it back exactly where it had been.
EmilySay something. SAY SOMETHING.
DianeThen maybe now you'll feed him like a normal mother.
Emily knelt on the floor against the cabinet with eleven surviving bags pressed to her chest and milk running off her elbows onto the tile.
EmilyGet out of my house.
DianeIt's my son's house.
EmilyGET OUT.
Diane picked up her purse from the counter. She stopped at the bouncer on her way past and leaned down over the screaming baby.
DianePoor boy. Nobody's feeding you properly, are they.
EmilyDon't you touch him.
DianeI'll see you Thursday.
The front door closed softly.
Emily counted the bags in her arms. Eleven. She had labelled ninety-one.
She carried them to the fridge and lined them up in date order because there was no version of herself that could put them in any other way, and then she sat down on the kitchen floor and did not get up for two hours.